Dale made a wonderful point in his last post: A hobby that doesn't inspire you is really just taking up time. This is the first year I've tried "real" vegetable gardening, and I think the best lesson I learned all year was to laugh as often as possible. Partly to keep yourself from committing murder with your pruning shears every time your carefully tended plants bite the dust, and partly because it really is funny to be so constantly surprised by the way nature takes its course.

The Accidental Gardener's Almanac looks like your typical schmaltzy stocking-stuffer, the type of thing you'd find in the bargain bin at a big-box bookstore. It's small and short, with a simple illustration on the front. The blurb on the back, though, gives a hint of what's inside: "You too can create a tranquil haven in your own backyard that you'll be too exhausted to appreciate."

Inside is a month-by-month rundown of what can, and probably will, go wrong at some point in your garden. But it's funny pessimism - negativity delivered with an acerbic wit that could only be (and in this case, is) British. Here are some of my favorite quips, along with images from my garden.

January: "Whoever said that watering plants in the midday sun can burn plants must have been suffering from rabies. Water cannot burn anything. In fact, it is widely recognised as an effective way of putting out fires." Of course, the "burning" may not be a problem in cooler climates; in hotter ones, water droplets can have the same effect as a magnifying glass, intensifying the sun's heat and literally burning plant parts.


Image: Sundrops, one of many plants which fell victim to overwatering this summer amid the deluges we had in Maryland.)

April: "Topiary is not a rewarding hobby that allows for creativity and individuality in the garden. It is the recourse of obsessive-compulsives and shows less imagination than a person who collects their toenail clippings and own a large ball made out of rubber bands."


Image: My rosemary bush is almost as tall as I am, but I haven't trimmed it all year. No, I'm not lazy. I just don't want to limit its personal style.

October: "Did you know that bonsai means 'a plant growing in a container'? So if anyone asks you if you've ever kept bonsai you can probably answer 'Yes' truthfully."


Image: This "bonsai" looks especially pretty next to these surprise gifts from the squirrels. The squash plants I raised carefully from seed fell victim to squash vine borers, but the gourd vine I didn't plant was as healthy as could be!

July: "Whoever said that to be happy for an hour you should get drunk but to be happy for a lifetime, plant a garden, missed an obvious opportunity: to get drunk and plant a garden."

Image: No, my husband is not drunk here - just having a beer while cheering me on from the sidelines. And hey, check out the rosemary's "before" photo!

Here's to another season of laughter, sarcasm and fun in the garden. Who knows what surprises the next season will bring?

If you're not a gardener, gardening can sound pretty intimidating - planning, weeding, watering and fending off various predators for months at a time - and unless you are growing edibles, your reward may only be a pretty picture. Those of us who are already invested wouldn't give it up for the world, but we want you to give it a try, too - and there's no better way to start than with containers.

These two books - Little Herb Gardens, by GeorgeAnne Brennan and Mimi Luebbermann, and The Ultimate Container Gardener, by Stephanie Donaldson - each contain numerous projects that can be completed in an hour or an afternoon, but will provide enjoyment for weeks and months afterward. Even if you think you are hopeless with plants, these charming arrangements will make you want to try again. And if have a "real" garden, like me, you'll find yourself flipping the pages with increasing restlessness and finally heading out to the basement or tool shed to get some use out of those old pots you'd almost forgotten about.

Little Herb Gardens was the book that inspired us to begin our own herb garden several years ago, mere months after moving into our house. I've mentioned before that herbs are almost impossible to kill; a loose definition of the word might be "a weed that people have figured out how to use in cooking." Once established in the ground, they rarely need watering, and they will produce until the first frost; I have even dug through the snow to find sprigs of thyme in February. Most of them re-seed themselves and come back year after year to delight you with their fragrance and flavor. And if you've never cooked with fresh herbs, you can and should afford the luxury!



The book begins with some basic information about herbs in general, listing the most common annuals and perennials; it then gives some basic information about the best conditions for soil, watering and fertilizing. (We're talking eight pages total, and half of that is pictures!) Projects are then grouped by location: Fire Escape for city-dwellers, Inside Porch, Outside Porch and Patch of Ground for suburbanites, and Vast Vistas for those with a little more breathing room. Each project fits on a double-page spread, with a lovely, inspiring photo, a specific list of materials, and guidelines for where and when to place the plants. Most of the suggested herbs are fairly traditional, but there are a few, like green garlic and nasturtiums, that I had never thought of growing indoors and will certainly try now. At the end, there's a brief section of recipes that can be adapted for many types of herbs: flavored oils, vinegars and desserts.

The Ultimate Container Gardener is a far more extensive and adventurous book, and it favors more decorative arrangements than practically useful ones. However, the photographs are seductive in the way only do-it-yourself photographs can be; if you are familiar with DK books, you will be especially intrigued. The plants for each project are pictured separately, so that you can bring the book with you to the garden center and compare; then there are several step-by-step instructional photos and a photo of the end result, pretty but simple enough to make you think you could do that!

There is another section on gardening techniques and tools; it's longer than the one in Little Herb Gardens, but it does include lots of helpful photos of, for instance, how to propagate a plant from a cutting, and several methods for pest removal. These projects are grouped by several different variables: color scheme, season, and location. There are also special sections of projects for children, plantings that are edible or especially fragrant, and lots of ideas for decorating containers with shells, paint and a variety of other media. Altogether, there are probably 150 projects, and there are very few duds, at least for my personal taste (I have never really understood the garden-in-a-boot thing) They range from very simple to somewhat complex; the common thread is that all of them can live on your porch, deck or fire escape. A little water and sunshine, and a lot of admiration, are the only requirements.

Jennie Grant lives in urban Seattle. But her backyard is anything but downtown. Besides the small kitchen garden, she has several chickens, a pair of goats with kids, and a beehive. Just down the block is a park full of blackberries. She invited me over to make ice cream using only these backyard ingredients. I did a little radio documentary on the process for a radio show called "The Splendid Table" (search for the September 13 episode here, if you're curious).



Every step of the way we created waste products, and Jennie folded them right back into her little self-contained system. For example, when milking goats, you discard the first two squirts of goat milk, since bacteria linger in the teats. This gets fed to the chickens. When picking blackberries, you can bring home a few blackberry vines and feed them to the goats. We generated large amounts of skim milk in the process of making cream for the ice cream. What to do with that? Heat it up on the stove, add rennet (or vegetarian equivalent), drain in a cheesecloth, salt and voila, you've got skim chevre. I went home with a container-full. My family ate it on home made pizza. It melted up nicely.



Chickens in the city are fun, but goats are the next frontier. I'm hoping to set up a "goat co-op." The goats will live in someone else's yard, but several interested neighbors and I will "buy shares" of the goat pair. We neighbors will be in charge of milking the goat every weekend, so the landowner can sleep in.